MY head hurts
like I could feel the days going by, pulling away from my skin
leaving little marks of sadness and despair and loneliness
all the feelings I thought I didn't have in stock.

I cannot hear happy things or happy people walk about and shout it out
It's like I chose to stay inside for months. Each month I lose one limb
There must be a reason for all this. I cannot simply wait and end up loose-ing, my-self

I strive for emptiness. It cannot be.
Sometimes I want things, more things, get more things, get to be full of things, bursting of things and loads of things all the things, and more and more and so stuffed and full that I cannot breathe because I can't breathe with all these things I can't take. I feel like I'm trapped in my own trap for empty and for full of wonderful things. But wait... What's that sound?

"Hi, our lives don't have a meaning, so we buy it instead. Buy a life, buy some meaning; advertise yourself for love, friends or networking. The Life shop buys your days by the kilo. Come, come, there's also a reduced section for those desperate ones. Cancer cases and depressive types prefer to go minimal. Still, no one's stopping you from buying Christmas gifts in February. Why stop there? Just pre-order yourself a coffin!"

I'm certain that I am the saddest person in this town!
Why don't I get some take away like no one cares.
Why don't I end up buying two sets of dinnerware instead of one.